February 21, 2012

Well it has been a while since I have posted anything, and as sad as this sounds not alot has happened...yep my life is pretty boring :-) Anyway Me and Eric have started going to the gym and Im getting into shape for Baby. I cant wait to be pregnant and I feel so much better since we are going to the gym and we have only went twice! The gym we are at has a pool and hot tub and lots of machines to do different toning on and treadmills...the eliptical and me are a no go though....it hurt me too bad the first day I went...maybe our relationship will get better with time lol. I am going to do everything in my power to make baby healthy, so I am going to work out everyday on the treadmill but only do the other machines every other day.

January 4, 2012

Well Happy New Year guys. Well its official I have taken my last birth control pill and we are going to start trying for a rainbow baby soon. I am so excited I can't wait to be pregnant again and I pray everything goes great and we have no complications this time. We are going back to UAMS with this pregnancy due to the fact I love them and they will take care of me and the baby and they have the best equipment there is in the state of Arkansas and I will be high risk this pregnancy. Im so excited and scared at the same time. Im ready to be a earth mommy! Oh! We finally got Lainey's headstone it looks so good I love it! Photo below! The new year brings new joys and new tears but I want to make the best of this year and enjoy every minute! I have a wonderful and supportive family who has been through all of this no matter how bad it got I love y'all.  All I have to say is Lord help me through this year and hold my family close because I am truly not sure if we can handle anymore bad news! Grant us peace and hold us as we try for another child and watch over us as we go through this wonderful journey of love. Peace and love to all of y'all and count your blessings because they may not be there tomorrow! 

December 15, 2011

Well ok so I got to meet one of the cutest baby girls ever today! Beth is adorable and with her being a rainbow baby I felt a since of hope for the future! I can not wait to get pregnant! I want a baby to hold and bring home and raise! I want it now! Santa all I want for christmas is to be pregnant and have a happy healthy baby by next christmas! I am so thankful for everyone that has been there for me thru all this and the ones that have been supportive thru all my good and bad days. I am going to have a good christmas but I know that I will have my moments. I love all of u so much!

December 8, 2011

OK so I know I said I wasn't going to post agian til after the holidays, but you know what the hell...ok to play catch up alot has happened. Thanksgiving Was Awesome and Yummy!!!! it was a great family gathering was missing a few but I know they were watching over us :-) We got our christmas tree up....it was a little bitter sweet, I love Christmas it has always been my Favorite Holiday and my daddy's too but this christmas I was suppose to be buying toys and dolls and all the stuff for Lainey but instead of changing diapers I am changing Flowers on her grave (which are gorgeous if I do say so myself and I Do!) But I got all my christmas gifts to mail ready and I have all my christmas cards made out and ready to be sent...I love Christmas! there has been a few days this past month that I have not been excited about Christmas, but at this point all I can think of is February is so close! me and eric have decided to try for a November baby since that is the BEST month ever...I mean Me , Him and His mom are november babies! The Christmas parade was tonight and I heard the sirens all the way at my house....I cant wait to take my kids to the parade and to meet santa and just enjoy every single breathe they breathe as long as I am here. I love seeing all the babies on facebook getting dressed for christmas and sitting in front of the tree.....it just makes me smile and I love it! well enjoy the photos below and Goodnight!!!

                                                                 Lainey's Fall Spray

                                           E-Or with Lainey's Plate Look At Those Big Feet!

Lainey's Angel with Her New Bouquet

Lainey's Christmas Spray

                                                                 Lainey's Butterflies

Our Tree Topper We Don't need an Angel atop our Tree

We have one in Heaven (it has Lainey's Picture in the Middle)

The Shoe has Lainey's name and weight on the bottom

The angel ornament on the bottom was made by a Fellow Angel Mommy

She lives in Las Vegas and she made this by hand out of clay!

November 17,2011

Ok so last post til after the holidays. I was told today that im not ready to start trying for another baby and as much as this breaks my heart I guess I have to just roll with it and see how it plays out. But im going to say this one thing first....this is my house my life my family and unless you know everything that we are going thru behind closed doors stay out of my business I understand you are helping but its not so I appreciate it all but I just am tired of everyone in my business so im done with it. I am going to live my life and deal with the hand god gave me. And I will talk about Lainey because she was born she was just born back unto god. Have I found all my faith in him back no but I have come to the conclusion that he may be the only one who gives a care about me so as far as humans I have no faith in u at least god has a little of my faith. Happy holidays everyone and have a happy new year!

November 16, 2011

Ok do does anyone else have days where you feel like everyone is against you and your no matter how hard you try you can win...yeah that's how I feel today...it is 6:30am and I have not slept yet and do t think I will...I just feel wide awake and like I want to punch someone....on a brighter note got the draft for Lainey Jay 's headstone yesterday I mailed it back today her stone should be set before christmas im so excited! It looks awesome can't wait to see final result.  Anyway I think when I get pregnant this time I am going to tell the family and no one else...nobody ever sees me so I can hide it...that way I don't have to deal with all the ppl...who knows maybe no one will know til the baby is here and several months old...lol yea right I wish....oh well I guess I can dream....well im going to change out laundry later gators!

November 11, 2011

OK Well I think I have managed to piss off several people this week...lucky me right? Oh well if I pissed them off they were not true friends then. I don't need them. Now alot more has happened this month that I need to catch my followers up on! OK so My best friends Niki and James are expecting!!!! we got the good news on Lainey's 3 month angelversary I am so excited for them they deserve it! I can not wait til I can spoil the new baby!!!! Then we got my baby girl's headstone ordered and I cant wait to get it in and see it! Then this morning I became a Great-Great-Aunt to a beautiful little girl! She is perfect! Ok i am only 27 how am i a great great??? well My Dad would have been 83 years old this year...lol enough said!
ok well I have been looking at baby names getting a head start! Me and Eric have decided that December 31st will be the last birth control pill I will take and we will start trying for a Rainbow Baby...I am so ready but at the same time i am terrified but my excitement overpowers my horror...I am ready to be an earth baby mommy I will always be a mommy just my daughter plays with Angels. I will always be paranoid because of what I have been thru but that only makes me stronger and with what my daughter has shown me that she has seen for me How can i not want to try agian and move on with my life. there is no other way but to move and and honor Lainey in anyway I can. Her siblings will know about her and talk about her and they will understand that they have the best Guardian angel ever and she is their sister and she loves them and watches over them everyday! I also want to let everyone know that I am still fine I am moving forward and I can not wait to watch my children grow!
Thank you for everyone that has supported me thru this and i appreciate everything.