August 26, 2011

Well I went and saw my angel today her flowers are still pretty but too many more storms and they wont be. Today wasnt as hard as yesterday. Yesterday all i wanted todo was cry even at cicis there were two little blonde haired twin girls they were adorable and i just wanted to cry....the hardest thing today was my trip to Walmart...its always hard in there i hate going in that place....im glad i dont work there anymore im not sure i could handle it anymore. Lately i have been very bitter and snappy and for all my family that has caught the blunt im sorry. Im hoping it will get better soon. I have found that im enjoying life now a little bit better but i still have moments....but honestly i think i will always have moments. Mom said i amaze her...lol when people that dont know ask about the baby and all that i never change my facial expression and just say oh i had her on the 2nd she was stillborn. Their faces change but mine dont. She said i have never seen you that way ever...well why cry why make someone feel sorry for me...hell that wont bring her back so why go thru the misery that causes just tell people what happened and go on. No big deal. Mom still says it amazes her how i can do that. The ones that make me change emotions are the slutty pregnant bitches and the ones that have three dozen kids and are not taking care of them. Like today in walmart this chick was huge preggo and was wearing short shorts with her ass hanging out and a spaghetti strap that bearly covered her belly....really! PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON THATS WHY U KNOCKED UP IN THE FIRST PLACE GEEEEZE!!!! I cant help it i want to scream at the top of my lungs! And i promise one day i believe i am going to jail for beating a stupid bitch in walmart. Hopefully my husband and adopted brother can get me commited instead a padded room vaca i think thats a great idea....LMAO....i had a great time tonight at my adopted familys house got alot accomplished even though sis says im a slave driver lol plus i got alot accomplished yesterday at my house....i think im still nesting lol. I honestly dont know what im gonna do when everything is clean. I need a hobby but hobbies cost $$$ and we are running short on that til payday.... I really miss my hubby at night but im glad he is at the job he is at now he loves it and there is room for advancement. Well i have had a great day so im headed to bed for some zzzzzz....post more soon cant wait to see what tomorrow holds....i have learned to live like there is no tomorrow because one day there wont be. Goodnight everyone love yall. Goodnight Angel Mommy Loves You and misses you terribly give pawpaw a hug from me cant wait to see you agian.

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